


I cannot be controlled

by ravahn2020



Category: Original Work
Genre: Canon Trans Character, F/F, F/M, Original Character(s), Trans Female Character, superhero, wlw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:21:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28483800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravahn2020/pseuds/ravahn2020
Summary: A trans girl who has always looked up to a B-list hero, and finds out that he does more than anyone realizes.
Relationships: Anna Blackley/Michelle El-Hashem, Brie Marnie/Milo Watts, Celerato/Reign, Zoey Blackley/Wynona Blackley
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1: The Beginning

I take a deep breath. This was by no means going to be easy, so like with most things this hard, I made a list. Get to WilMart, buy  _ my  _ clothes, get a small white flag, get transfer paper, get out, get home before the moms, do the thing with the transfer paper, tape The Note to the flag, and get out right as they get home. The Note was something kicking around in my sock drawer for about 2 years. I didn't want to tell them face to face (hell, i'm not sure if i could), so i made a note. I hope it'll be easier as a note, even though it'll be tough as hell either way. My best friend at the time, now i consider her a sister.

I get a cart and head to the clothing aisle, ducking through aisles with nobody in them which makes the process 10 times longer. Halfway there, my eye catches a glimpse of some pretty matte red nail polish, which I put into my cart and continue on. Red is one of the few colors that looks good on me, so I wear it  _ constantly _ . 

I get in the Over i called and about half way home, it happens. I'm thrown to the side as the windows shatter. A piece of glass cuts the mediocre seatbelt and I fly out the window, caught by the fastest man around, Celerato. He sets me down, and runs to catch up with another speedster already far ahead of him. 

The lightning from him running isn't as loud as I had imagined it’d be. I'm in awe as the one with blue lightning, undoubtedly Doctor Fast (very original at least?) throws a bolt of the sky blue energy that flows around him at Celerato. In the blink of an eye, he dodges, jumps up, grabs the lightning, and slams the bolt into the ground around 10 feet from me, although he doesnt know I'm so close. The crackling energy of Fast’s speed flows into my body and everything goes white as I seize on the ground.

“CELERATO!” I scream, my vocal chords burning right before I pass out.


	2. Chapter 2: Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some people youve known your whole life can always find a new wat to surprise you

Weird. Thats the best way i can describe how i feel. I cant tell if im unconscious or not, but i get flashes in my mind of… something. It looks like a little field in the prairie, and i can feel a strong emotional attachment to it. I shakily stand and i see that the Over i was in is completely destroyed, the driver ran off just before it exploded. Celerato and Doctor Fast are running away. The street is a mess. The street has craters and is all torn up in a trail, windows are shattered from sonic booms, and an ambulance is on its way. An ambulance.. I bolt as soon as i see it. Somehow, im completely fine, and even running faster than i ever have. Adrenaline, do doubt. Wait. I skid to a stop, and frantically check my pockets. As I pull out the charred remains of The Note, my stomach drops. I have to tell moms myself… 

Something feels different. I thought it was just that groggy feeling after being knocked out, but its different than ive felt before. The lack of something, and the addition of something else. I look down and i see… me. I dont see the me i was born as, i see the me that i am. I glance in the window of a shop, and i can see myself in the mirror. To steal from Mulan, my reflection shows who i am inside, but now outside too. 

“What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck?” I mumble in my little happy daze. I’m not even gonna question it, but i know moms will. I look almost completely different; long blonde hair with green dye streaks down to my shoulder blades, i’m a few inches shorter, and i have an hourglass figure. I’m my ideal version of myself. What am i gonna tell my parents? WIll they be supportive? I get out my phone and open the group chat.

**Special Editions: Hey, something happened?**

**Short Mom: Something…?**

**Doctor Mom: Is everything ok, George?**

**Special Editions: I have something to tell you and it would be way better to do it in person but here goes ig???????????**

**Short Mom: What is it, sweetie?**

**Doctor Mom: Zo, you know he doesnt like being called that**

**Special Editions: Actually, tbh i really like being called that. Or… Anything but George. I’d prefer to go by Anna.**

**Doctor Mom: Figure you’d go by georgina**

**Short mom: Yeah, we called it**

**Special Editions: …?**

**Short Mom: Id say its just mother’s intuition times 2, but its more the fact you strayed away from “boy” toys, wore princess dresses on halloween for years as a “joke”, and heard about cooties and just didnt care**

**Doctor Mom: Yep. You know we’re gonna support you no matter what, right anna?**

Seeing my name like that. It feels right. Like a piece of me ive lived without is a part of me now.

**Special Editions changed his username to Dont Call It A Comeback**

**Dont Call It A Comeback changed her user pronouns to She/Her**

**Dont Call It A Comeback: Yeah, but, while related, thats not the thing that happened**

**Doctor Mom: ???**

**Dont Call It A Comeback: Its uhh… complicated. Superhero shit happened, Celerato is waaaaaaaaaay cooler up close, i changed.**

**Doctor Mom: Changed?**

**Dont Call It A Comeback sent a picture**

**Short mom: Changed…**

**Dont Call It A Comeback: Yep**

**Doctor Mom: Least we dont gotta buy HRT, That shits expensive**

**Dont Call It A Comeback: Yall are taking this a LOT better than i assumed you would-**

**Short Mom: Kiddo, theres so much weird stuff thats happened to you. If we made a big deal about everything that happened to you, we’d have strokes**

**Dont Call It A Comeback: You guys have no idea how happy this is making me**

**Short Mom: :)**

**Doctor Mom: :)**

**Dont Call It A Comeback: Also, since i am a girl, and im into just girls, im a lesbian**

**Doctor Mom: Same**

**Short Mom: Same**

**Dont Call It A Comeback: I dont regret introducing you to modern speaking-**

**Doctor Mom: Ill take ya clothes shopping when i get off work**

With a huge weight off of my shoulders, I walked home instead of running. Its gonna be a big change for all of us, but i think we can adapt pretty quickly. I open the door and im immediately enveloped in a hug from Mom. She can be an at home Mom, cause Mom is one of the top surgeons in the city. I hold back tears, but i give up and let myself cry happy tears. I have the freedom to be  _ me _ , and NOBODY can take that from me. I’m Anna Blackley, and I can be Me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO boy i feel pumped. I may just scrap the schedule I put at the end of WAI (WHO AM I?) chapter 1, my other ongoing story, and just write as much as i can. Next chapter will take some inspiration from The Flash S1E1 in 2 moments, but nothing big. I love writing this story, and if its popular enough when i'm finished with it i may publish it with goodreads 
> 
> EDIT 1/5/21- i meant chapter 4 cause im a dumbass


	3. Chapter 2: Bonded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sibling bond is one that scarcely be broken

**Special Editions changed his username to Dont Call It A Comeback**

**Dont Call It A Comeback changed her user pronouns to She/Her**

**Spectral Sweetroll: …?**

**Dont Call It A Comeback: …!**

**Spectral Sweetroll: whyd you change your name?**

**Dont Call It A Comeback: came out**

**Spectral Sweetroll: thats pretty poggers ngl. Howd they take it?**

**Dont Call It A Comeback: They said they called it, then when i said i was a lesbian they just said same-**

**Spectral Sweetroll: i-**

**Spectral Sweetroll: i mean i** **_figured_ ** **they called it, but im just glad they took it well**

**Dont Call It A Comeback: I DIDNT EVEN TELL YOU THE BEST PART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Spectral Sweetroll: ???**

**Dont Call It A Comeback: So shit happened, i saw the Celerato Doctor Fast fight up close, and I got hit with Fast’s lightning!**

**Spectral Sweetroll: OH MY GODS ARE YOU OK?**

**Dont Call It A Comeback: Somehow, yes. I also uhhhh**

**Dont Call It A Comeback sent a picture**

**Spectral Sweetroll: Oh cool, you got a gf? Tbh you have nice taste**

**Dont Call It A Comeback: Im flattered youd think anyone on this godforsaken earth would be willing to date mydumbass, no, thats me**

**Dont Call It A Comeback: *my dumbass**

**Spectral Sweetroll: What in the goddamn-**

**Spectral Sweetroll: How? What? When? Where? WHy?????**

**Dont Call It A Comeback: I think it was Fast’s lightning, im also completely uninjured. My transition i guess(?) was everything. No more bottom dysphoria. I look like what i wished i looked like before**

**Spectral Sweetroll: Im happ for ya, sis**

**Dont Call It A Comeback: :)**

**Spectral Sweetroll: :)**

**Dont Call It A Comeback: Mom just pulled in and shes gonna take me clothes shopping!!!**

**Spectral Sweetroll: While youre gone im just gonna play GameBox with Milo**

**Dont Call It A Comeback: Have fun, sis!**

**Dont Call It A Comeback: when will you be home?**

**Spectral Sweetroll: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh probably like an hour or two, will you be home then?**

**Dont Call It A Comeback: 🤷‍♀️**

**Spectral Sweetroll: Aight. While youre off ill send you vids of me kicking his ass at Zombies so you can watch when you get back**

**Dont Call It A Comeback:** **_thank you_ **

I've always thought of Brie as my sister. When the cooties scare went around, everyone abandoned her. I saw how lonely she was, and I didn't have any friends myself, so we bonded. Her parents were… not good, so after her parents were imprisoned, My moms adopted her, so she is my sister. I put my phone in my jeans. I didn't notice it before due to focusing on other things, but my pants were really baggy now. Which sucks because these are my favorite pair. If I can't find another pair like them, I can always make them into a skirt. Skirts are amazing. I have a few in my closet, hidden, because I was afraid of anyone finding them. I suppose i don't need to hide them anymore. Getting back on task, i run downstairs to greet Mom. She looks less tired today than she normally does; she looks downright excited. Not  _ nearly _ as excited as I am, though. I almost knock her over as I run up to her to give her a hug. I have one pearlescent white earbud in, listening to space shanties, and the chorus of Fire In The Sky perfectly sums up how I'm feeling right now. I'm purely euphoric right now. There are maybe, 5 to 10 moments like this in a person's life from what i can tell, so I'm savoring this as much as possible

“Hey, kiddo! You ready?” She says.

“Yeah, I've been waiting for this moment for ages,” I say, with a voice that I'm still not quite used to. My voice was pretty androgynous already, but now its very obviously feminine. Just the way I like it.

“I'm glad,” She says, her smile audible. She brings her voice down to a whisper “Don't tell your Mom, but I’ve had a gift card to mall for ages for either you or your sister to get a whole new wardrobe.”

“Baby, I know about the gift card; i bought it for you,” Mom says from the other room. She’s probably cooking. She went to culinary school because she loves to cook, but she could never stand working at a restaurant.

“Spoil sport.” Mom shoots back, causing a small giggle from the kitchen. God, I wanna have a relationship as good as theirs some day. 

“Let’s go, I guess,” I brush my hair back with my hand out of habit.

“Let’s go.”

We get in the car and she pulls out onto the street. Everything seems clearer now. I heard other trans girls that are on hrt compare experiences with testosterone and estrogen, but the difference is way more than I realized. The highs in my emotions are way higher, like before I was swimming in muddy water, but now it's crystal clear. I must seem anxious, because mom looks over and puts an arm around me.

“What’s wrong, G- Anna?” She quickly corrects herself.

“It’s just… It feels like I'm doing something wrong. I'm not used to this body, and i couldn't buy clothes before cause I was amab. It's taboo.”

“I think i understand what you mean, but i probably don't.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m cis. I can support you in any way I can, but I'll never quite know what it's like being in your shoes. Neither will your mom or your sister. If we mess up, please just… try to correct us, but be patient. Ya know?”

“Yeah. Thanks, for all of this. I know not many people would do this. I love you, Mom.”

“I love you too, sweetie. I saw someone wearing a blouse at work today, and i think it would look great on you, so I'll see if i can find one like it.”

“You mean it?”

“Have I ever lied to you?”

“I mean Santa.”

“Oh, hush.” She laughs and pulls onto the freeway.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for longer chapters. Im going to try to get at least 1k words per chapter. And the schedule i posted in WAI is just not gonna work, in fact i may put it on hiatus until i either finish or get way further into this


	4. an update

Yesterday i had a major depressive episode and shit went down. Im puttint WAI on hiatus and ICBC i may not update as frequently. Im gonna be busy with school as i have to redo an entire schoolyear in 3 classes, and regular in 4 by may, so if it gets too much ill put ICBC on hiatus as well. Im sorry, folks. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please dont be disspointed

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work! I dont know how long each chapter will be, but i know it will be longer once i get used to it


End file.
